Well, it's a foreign independent film called "Dellamorte Dellamore'" (Literally translated as "of Love, of Death") and it was released in the US under the lame title "Cemetary Man". It stars Rupert Everett, who was the poofy guy in "My best friends wedding" and played the villain in Disney's "Inspector Gadget". It also starred nobody else really.

Rupert plays a guy who works in a cemetary as a caretaker in England. He works there, AND lives there, with his associate and sidekick, Noggy. Noggy is a great big dude who looks like a cross between Curly from the 3 stooges, and a serial killer's illiterate brother. He doesn't ever speak except for in grunts.

Together their job is to manage the Cemetary. Oh BTW, did I mention that this cemetary is the ONLY place in the world where, in 7 nights or less after they die, the dead return from their graves to walk the land in search of living tissue to eat? And that nobody will believe Francesco Dellamorte (Everett) when he tells them what happens there? He just puts in his time and dreams about the "rest of the world", which he has never seen as he has never left the town his whole life. He reads phone books in his spare time and dreams of one day leaving his "watch post" in the cemetary. If the damn dead would stay DEAD, maybe he could.

It sounds like your standard "Night of the living dead" ripoff, and it many ways it seems almost EVIL DEAD-ish, as Dellamorte goes zombie hunting every night, with the hulking simpleton Noggy at his side (Noggy has a "Passion" for dead leaves). But this movies sheer GENIUS goes WAY beyond anything George Romero ever concocted. It had me confused in a few places, as many events seemed random and not so interwoven into the plot. But in the end (which is PHENOMENAL) it all came together, and really blew me away. I'd almost give it a "The Usual Suspects" ending, as when you figure it out you want to watch the film again and see things from a new light.

It's dark. It's gory. It's got a HOT HOT HOT HOT babe in it who has probably the nicest body I've ever seen in my LIFE. It's funny. It's weird. It's deep.

It's got it all. If I found it in a store I'd buy it. If IFC runs it again I'm taping it for sure.

Going back to the original title (Of love, of death), this is a good name because all of Delamorte's problems center around these two things..... sometimes even combined (EEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!). Ok, enough said. Heh heh heh

I give this movie the highest posibble rating I can give a film. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want to watch it again. Three appendages WAY up........ and a couple of them even torn off. :^)

Dr. Torgo